Do I Really?

Do I really love myself if I can’t accept all parts of me?

Do I love myself if I keep hidden the parts of me that I don’t want anyone to see?

Am I enough even when I’ve accepted and embraced every flaw?

Am I able to show up as me every day in the raw?

Sure I’ll go out with no panties and no bra,

Hair matted, eyebrows unkept and showing every flaw

But will I let you see my soul in the nude

Can I hear my inner voice mention my flaws without it coming off as rude?

When will I be proud of all these war wounds?

When will the betrayals of my life stop keeping my brain so consumed?

Sure I am not the first, second or last to be hurt

And I have done enough work to know their betrayals aren’t because I am dirt

For I know ppls actions are a reflection of themselves

Yet and still I am in my mind every day replaying this hell

This space I’ve been stuck in, still wondering why and how

Instead of accepting, embracing and moving about free and proud

It’s a work in progress sis and I’m fighting every day and I pray every hour that this pain will go away

As time goes on I know the pain will dissipate

And joy, freedom and love will come as my fate

But for now I’ll stay here and go through the pain

Because going around it only allows it to linger and stay in vain

So I will march on in this fight and love myself through

And tell myself I am still enough and speak my truth

For when I hold it in and act unbothered it has power over me

And it doesn’t help anyone when my pain they can’t see

So my pain will now be my badge of honor and not my secrecy

And I will embrace and accept it and love every part of me

The good, the bad, and the mighty ugly