The soul

The soul

Has been running for a long time… never sitting still… always thinking, doing, producing-a product of trauma. Anxious. Learned to be empathic to pick up on signs and signals. Never to be caught off guard. Noticing tones & tudes in facial expressions, text messages & body language. Nervous system never able to regulate. Always on guard.

If I smile and be quiet, I’m more desireable.  If I lay with you I’m a keepsake, memorabilia.. I’m unforgettable. I won’t be left behind. I’ll stay on the mind.

Pretty privilege. Getting by with a smile, with a wink, or a soft tone. Again not using my voice much. Nags are left. Bitches are too much. Just be cool, be Easy. Stay unforgettable.

Playing in my room alone. I’m Barbie & Ken. I’m the blue & red in candyland. Learned to entertain myself. Masturbation, learned to please myself. I got me. Cuz I had no choice.

Worth in the womb. Because my voice was to be silenced.

Daddy issue: no seats in the lap, no pat on the back. Few wet kisses a year. No holiday cheer. First date was a 13 year old, same daddy wound as me. Left him for a joker who was what daddy was to me 👻

Mommy issue: emotional baggage I carried. Depression, anxiety, control, hyper masculine. Walking on eggshells. No “how was your day.” Staying away was safe. Being seen was burdensome. Asking why was a sin.

To the little inquisitive girl, ask those questions baby. Be seen. Always wonder. Never dim. Your life is more than some sin. You were birthed to raise, grow and nurture. To challenge. To teach. To touch souls that can’t be reached.

You think this was a mistake? Naw, this was by design. All things were set up with you in mind. From the pain you’ve grown. To be more than you’ve ever known. You operated from pain & mistrust, but all this time you were way more than enough.

The light in you shines on the darkness in others. You’re hated, mistreated and used but none of it has to do with you.

You don’t have to run, you are safe. For now you know who you are and your place. Your body is sacred. Your voice is to be heard. You can rest, you can be soft. No need to wear the armor. You’ve been protected all along. You know who you are. You have purpose and a mission.

Thieves don’t rob empty houses. Ppl pull things out of you because they see something in you. Don’t take it personal. Don’t switch up. Don’t change. Be loud. Be seen. Take up space. The right ppl will make room.

Now come back to you. Bring the soul back to the body. Be one. Be wise. Be soft. Trust. Let go. You dont have to carry those bags no mo.

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