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Writer's pictureBrandi Rahim

Choose Yourself

On days where you want to be spiteful and angry

On days when you are wondering if you’re good enough

YOU ARE. Call your energy back to yourself. Literally, say it out loud "I call my energy back to me"

Know that others’ actions are a projection of them and not a reflection of you

Know that they hurt and bleed the same way you do, but they are in survival mode from trauma and holding back to self-preserve

Know that people can only give you what they’ve given to themselves. If they aren’t comfortable with their own emotions and vulnerability, how can they handle yours?

How can they care for and be delicate with your heart, when no one was ever delicate with theirs?


It is easier to keep running and going, than to be still and feel

It is easier to jump person to person, than to be alone and heal yourself and face the ugly shadow side of you

It is easier to avoid people, than to apologize and ask for forgiveness

It is easier to point the finger, than to acknowledge the role you’ve played in the situation.


Know that we all are human. All imperfect and going on this journey through life the best way we know how. When you know better, you do better. Some know way more than others.


Choose yourself. Love on yourself. Affirm that you are amazing and deserving of the highest quality of life. Affirm that you are valuable and worthy just for breathing. Affirm that you love yourself so much, that love from an outsider isn’t a necessity. Affirm that you are attracting authentic love that isn’t prideful or egotistical. Affirm that you don’t have to bargain for love. Affirm that you are confident and have boundaries because you love and protect you at all costs. Choose yourself on days where you want to run to someone just for comfort or to defeat loneliness. Choose yourself when you are trying to prove your love or worthiness to someone who failed to see it the first time. Choose yourself before asking “why him/her?” Does that really matter? Choose yourself before you go back because “they are all the same.” Choose yourself by studying you. Choose yourself by building a relationship with you. What do you like? What legacy do you want to leave on this earth? The goals you have for the next 6 months, does that person fit into that setting? Choose yourself by being around friends and family who love and respect you, just for being you. Don’t question. Accept. Adjust. Be intentional about your forward movement. Learn the lesson and apply it to the next season. Everyone can’t go. Don’t ask if they want you. Ask yourself, do you even want them? Were your emotional/mental/spiritual/physical/sexual needs being met? Were they healthy for you? Could you collapse in their arms after a long day and vent? Could you trust that they’d have your back when you’re not around? Did they make good decisions without your direction? Did you get the same love/energy you gave? Were they your safe haven? Did they acknowledge your feelings and validate them when you expressed yourself? Did they bring you peace or anxiety? Date yourself. Read. Listen to podcast. Get around others you trust with your vulnerability. Journal. List your boundaries and your non-negotiables. Don’t wait to be chosen. You do the choosing.


First, choose yourself.


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