This was a piece I wrote after my divorce. I like to write my thoughts out sometimes, its therapeutic for me. This piece has been sitting on my desktop so I thought I'd share. Maybe it'll resonate with someone!
I didn’t ask questions because I didn’t want to seem irritating
I didn’t speak up because I didn’t want to be a nag
I second-guessed myself when I knew something wasn’t right
I wanted love so so bad that I was willing to be silent to have it
All the things I am not
I sat back and played the good wife, that’s what a good wife does
I’m an extroverted leader who doesn’t follow rules
But those women don’t get wifed, those women are single
Those women end up alone with cats
I was those women; loud, wild and free. Not fitting into a box
But what about my kids? Stay a good wife so your kids can have 2 parents
That’s better for them, right? You didn’t have that-so give them that
Ok, I’ll sit back
But no, there was this pain in my stomach, this yearning, this pull from the inside
Something isn’t right. Why don’t I feel safe? Always on guard, always waiting for the ball to drop
Oh well, that’s just me. Radical. Loud. Free. Untamed.
My kids need to see their mom be herself. Free. Happy. Loved correctly.
My kids need to know it’s better to be happy and alone than miserable in a partnership
My kids will see happiness comes from within, you don’t stay quiet to “earn” happiness
So I walk away. I find ME. I laugh. I cry. I glow.
I get the love I deserve, without having to be quiet or beg for it
I give it to myself
I forgive. I thrive. I live.
I ask questions, I speak up when shit ain't right, I challenge, I think, I give, I be ME.
And I am happy. I am free.
And THAT is a GOOD WIFE.